Guys!! When they say time flies, they weren’t lying!!
How has it already been a month since our baby girl was born?! To say I’ve had my hands full would be an understatement (hence why I’ve been a little quiet on the blog) and I’d be lying if I said I knew what I was getting myself into having two kids. The adjustment from zero to 1 was pretty much what I expected, with a few twists and turns along the way. But this transition from 1 to 2 is giving me a run for my money. Maybe I was arrogant to think that I knew what I was doing but kids sure do have a way of humbling you, amiright?! I think the biggest challenge for me is feeling like I’m back at square one: trying to find balance — taking care of a newborn, spending time with my toddler, managing a relationship and getting anything done for myself. Such is life, I guess!
To recap this month, as most would expect when you welcome a new baby, life has changed in a drastic way for us. Since both Ryan and I are fortunate enough to be able to stay at home full time right now, we’ve pretty tried to “split up” parenting duties (lucky us, I know!). I take care of Sage, since there isn’t much dad can do for an exclusively breastfed baby and he takes care of Steele. This strategy seems to be the most beneficial for all of us and has been working out pretty well, I’d say. I”m so grateful for the relationship that Ryan & Steele built when I went back to work and am glad that she doesn’t feel like she has to rely on me for everything. She definitely has her mommy moments though, when she wants me to do certain things with/for her and of course I happily oblige. Her favorite phrase is “Ummmm, maybe daddy hold the baby and mommy hold me” lol. I mean, come onnnnn…how can one resist such cuteness?!?!
Speaking of Steele, she has done an excellent job transitioning into her big sister role. She absolutely LOVES Sage and never seems to miss a moment to be all in her face. It’s so cute when she wakes up in the morning and all she wants to do is cuddle in the bed and hold her. I look forward to the day they are running around playing & laughing together (or yelling and screaming at each other lol). Now of course, there are times when Steele has her moments (I mean, I guess when you think about it, we ALL have our moments) and when I say moments, I mean full on whaling, falling out on the floor, yelling, kicking, screaming, throwing toys, hitting people (usually me)…..with a face full of tears. Yea, those type of moments. Thankfully they don’t come too often because the thought of a toddler having a temper tantrum and a newborn crying at the same time kinda makes me want to pull my hair out.
Speaking of transitioning, Sage has transitioned well in her first month earthside too! She loves to eat, I’ll tell ya that. This girl doesn’t skip a meal! She was 8lbs 9oz when she was born and now at a month is a whopping 11lbs 3ozs. My little chunky monkey doesn’t let a drop of milk go to waste. We’ve taken her to the pediatrician twice now since she’s been born and she’s just a big healthy girl (Steele was like this too and now is super tall and lean). The only thing we’ve had to pay more attention to with Sage is her skin. She seems to have really sensitive skin and also has a case of baby acne on her cheeks, which at first was a little scary but seems to be very common in infants, we just never had to deal with that when Steele was born. Oh, and if you couldn’t tell from my photos & videos on Instagram, she just likes to be held ALL THE TIME. There are times during the day that I’ll be holding her and she’ll fall fast asleep, I’ll wait a little to put her down and as soon as I do, she’ll wake up instantly (can you sense the feeling of defeat I’ve had on numerous occasions?!). She’s been doing better the last few days or so, we just need to work on getting her on a better nighttime routine but overall, Sage is a really good baby!
Ok, so let’s talk about sleeping…. does anyone know what that is? I sure don’t these days but if there’s one thing I could count on, it’s the lack of sleep I knew I’d been getting. And don’t get me started with our sleeping arrangements, they are FAR from ideal these days. Sage and I sleep in our bed and Steele and Ryan sleep in one of the guests rooms. We decided to make this work for a few reasons – 1. prior to Sage being born, Steele was sleeping in the room and/or bed with us (her crib is in our room too – long story) but now that Sage is here and wakes up 2-3 times a night, we thought this option would be better for Ryan and Steele to get a better nights sleep. 2. Steele is a wild sleeper so there is NO way all four of us could be in the bed together. So unfortunately for me and Ryan, our night time cuddles are put on hold until we get a better bedtime routine going.
And then there’s my personal hygiene. I take a shower every other day at most (for you non-moms out there reading this….don’t judge, it’s definitely not by choice). Thankfully I’m in the house 90% of the time and don’t have to worry about offending other people. It’s crazy to think that taking a shower everyday is a luxury but this is REAL LIFE! When it comes to brushing my teeth, washing my face or even going to the bathroom, I rarely have a moment to myself. Yep, that’s right – I’ve had to hold Sage while using the bathroom. That’s what happens when you have a baby that doesn’t like to be put down….no actually, that’s just what happens when you become a parent. You don’t get a lot of moments to yourself anymore! I should be use to this by now!!
This first month has been so awesome and challenging in the same breath. I can name so many reason why it’s been awesome but the most challenging thing for me is trying to get anything done. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a very organized, detailed & goal-oriented person. Although my first priority is taking care of the kids, there are still things that I try to do on a daily basis to continue developing myself. Trying to find time to meditate, read a book or even write for this blog, sometimes seems impossible. I swear between Sage waking up every other minute from her nap and my eyelids fighting to stay open for dear life – the struggle can be very real. On top of that, I battle with the concept of sleeping when the baby sleeps vs getting things done (i.e. cleaning the house, cooking breakfast/lunch/dinner, playing with Steele, catching up with family/friends, etc). What I haven’t fully grasped at this point is the idea that I need to just be okay with getting NOTHING done or when I really need to get things done, I have to sacrifice a little sleep to do so.
Earlier this week, I had one of those days. A day that I felt defeated – I couldn’t put Sage down for more than 5 minutes without her crying so the work I wanted to get done was left unfinished, Steele had a few episodes about lord knows what, Ryan and I argued about something so stupid and I just had enough of everything. I broke down in tears, annoyed and overwhelmed. Ryan’s mom happened to come over that evening and after venting to her, her response was “Well, it could be a lot worse” and boy was she right. At the end of the day when I put everything in perspective, I’m blessed and thankful! Thankful to have a beautiful family I love and adore, thankful to have a partner who is extremely supportive, thankful to have two amazingly beautiful daughters, thankful to be surrounded by friends and family that love us, I could go on and on. Even in my weakest moments, I know there are lessons to be learned and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel…..and ultimately everything will be okay.
One month down, a lifetime to go! Love & light on your journeys xo